Sharing is for Suckers
By: Scott Heaton
All Rights Reserved 2011©
We were always taught to share when we were wee ones,
But sharing is a painful act. It means you get my waffle fries-
Or the last cookie, or the turkey leg at thanksgiving.
I’ll give my thanks when you man-up and lemme have at that leg.
I mean who says that we’re the only ones that have to share?
Couldn’t we be promoting ‘sharing’ by eating the last little luscious cupcake?
Aren’t we endorsing unselfishness by shoving down the last jumbo shrimp?
It just means I’m improving YOU as a person… because you’re learning to share.
And isn’t that a more unselfish act than cultivating the virtue myself?
And who likes the awkward moment when everyone is staring down the last onion ring?
For goodness sakes I would GIVE away an onion ring to not feel the tension. And I assume you’re the same.
Thus I am an agent of justice by
yanking the last buffalo wing from under your nose.
Yes of course you may not like it, but it is better than the pain of waiting.
You’ll thank me later…
But know that the last hush puppy has hushed my taste buds. And that should make both of us happy – right?
And that’s what sharing is all about.